Mother hides his past from me “

"Mother hides his past from me"

My father died when I was a baby, and the mother still did not tell anything about him, never as if he was. Even lied about the reason for his death. In addition, she still hides his past marriage, although I know her former husband, they still communicate, and it all looks very stupid. About this marriage told me aunt, asking me that I would not run, I learned from her. Mother hid from me that my uncle is alcoholik that they have an unimportant relationship that I have a cousin (she also has problems), hid the cause of departure abroad. She said nothing to anyone, took me and left. It turned out, the matter is in difficult relationships with her mother, my grandmother. So complicated that it was necessary to run abroad?! She practically hides everything from me: bad eyesight (still does not admit that wearing lenses), age, family budget, seeding. What’s wrong with her?

Laura, there are always reasons why people behave in one way or another, even if we do not understand these reasons and believe that it should not be. But we, people, such. Complex creatures.

It can be assumed that your mother suffers from awareness that it happened to her, what kind of relatives, in which she is relations with them, what she herself (bad vision, gray). She is trying to "save face" – first of all, for itself, show only that herself considers it right, acceptable, socially successful. Your mother as if writes his own picture of reality. She does not want to say that it does not fit into her image, it seems to her strange, ugly, alien.

When even some little things are revealed, not to mention something more serious, mom, most likely, feels shame and guilt – for example, for having someone behaved in relation to her. Trust someone your vulnerabilities for her too hard and hurt. She is afraid to be rejected.

Mother hides his past from me

And it does not matter that in reality it is unlikely to happen: it is clear that you will not turn away from Mom simply because she doesn’t see or have a relationship with your father. But her psyche works so much, she most likely received such an experience. Perhaps in the past its weakness or mistakes were used against her.

Mom no longer gives anyone to. If you have to run into another country, it means that it will run away. This is her defense, its way to cope with the situation. If you can understand it, then you will stop spending energy to resist and adapt to what happens to what it is.

Mother hides his past from me

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