Motivation is alien and their own

Motivation: Alien and its

I could not start an article about motivation. Because I … Motivation disappeared. That’s just she was somewhere here. But as soon as the text put in a plan, he switched to the category "Need". And all. Two weeks of procrastination, forgetting, postponed. While today is strict (crossed out) favorite editors did not remind me of article. Another half an hour of hanging on social networks (I need to relax), teeth tea, "Gather, rag!", A two-week trip to rest, another week to" come to yourself ", and here I am with you.

Motivation: How would I like to want a lot

If you ask what motivation is, you can hear the answer: "This is why you do some kind of business and bring it to the end". In general, everything is true. The psychological dictionary defines as follows: "Motivation is the motivation, causing the activity of the body and determining its focus on achieving the goal".

So, important words: prompting, activity, focus, achievement, goal.

Motivation I will be viewed as part of the volitional process (more in the article "Will: Children’s and Parent Wars"). Here is a scheme from this text to remind where motivation is located.

Such a different motivation

It is important to take into account that motivation happens ..

  • External and internal. The first is to stimulate from outside ("will enter the university – buy a car"), the second – from the inside ("I need, and I will do"). External better use briefly and in small reasons.
  • Positive and negative. In the first case, a person led to a victory (and therefore one of the "hormones of joy" Dopamine), and in the second – the desire to avoid failure, punishment (and therefore, a "hormone of stress" cortisol).
  • Stable and unstable. The first has a persistence criterion: for example, day after day to keep the motivation to be the owner of a dog, walking it into any weather. The second one – either quickly destroyed, or the waveguide: that is, it is not.
  • Associated with activation or braking. In the first case – you need to start something or continue to do. In the second – stop, stop.

Of course, the best is Internal positive stable motivation. An example is a student who has long saves such a wording: "If I do lessons, I can enroll in a good university and be a successful person".

This motivation can be detected where ..

… ESweet your own need. In this case, she is a social need for success.

… ESweat your own goal. Here it is expressed in an understandable criterion – admission to a good university.

It is about such a motivation of a child all parents dream. When the child leads to a psychologist, the parents want the specialist to form exactly the design.

It seems to us that it is so simple, so obvious: you will learn – you will become successful. But for some reason, not all children are fixed in the head. "For some reason": there is no need (nor cognitive, nor social), so the goal is not put. And study ceases to be a goal achievement tool. That motivation is not formed.

The worst motivation – External negative stable. The main means of parental "motivation" are threats, blackmail, prohibitions, impact through fear, pressure. It kills the latest desire sprouts at least something to do.

5 Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why he has no motivation?

He has motivation. For sure there. Look, with what kind of perseverance he ignores your "time to sleep" when he wants to do or watch a cartoon. How much effort puts your daughter to persuade you to new shoes. How, not wanting to distract, your son is looking for information about the biography of a football player. And this is all what is considered "non-serious". But there may be other processes! Children are independently studying the "Wikipedia" theory of fashion, electrical engineering and bases of psychophysiology. Read books. Construct a lot: from clothes for dolls to aircraft. Teach languages.

If the process begins with his personal goal (from his "want" or own "necessary"), then problems with motivation occurs less. Can start and not finish – here is the main. But often after all, it comes out, especially if we do not interfere with your "that you are doing here nonsense, it would be better …".

The inability to form motivation is a pathological process, rare. But the difficulty in finding your motivation under someone else’s "I want" or "necessary," is at every step.

He is healthy, calm down.

2. Is it possible to develop motivation?

Motivation is alien and their own

Here it is most likely to go about the purposes that proceed from the external "need" or someone else’s "want". "But he needs it – to learn good to go and work!»- Parents say in despair. In desperation – because they have repeatedly told this thought, and it still. Do not want to take "to the inner plan". And not that he did not understand at all. If you ask a child, he cheerfully say that it is for this that needs to be learned. But while this understanding is outside, and not inside.

You can develop motivation. Remember how you deal with it when it comes to you. Even in not your process, you are looking for something useful for yourself. For example, "Faster I will faster will be free," remind you that it is necessary for one reason or another (they gave a promise, get paid, a response service …), promise yourself a small gift upon completion.

All this ways to motivate. Adults can be somewhat better. In children, the brain zone responsible for planning, control, retention of the goal and actually motivation only develop. Therefore, parents’ help in this matter is very important.

3. How to develop motivation?

First and chief assistant parents … no, not deprivation of tablet. And not buying toys. The most important is His Majesty Personal example. Suppose the best option: you love your work. But in any difficult organized process there is something to do, but I do not want. How do you come to the fulfillment of such duties? Sewing at the last moment? Make Naste? Do high quality but moan? Net for a guide that suffered with its innovations?

And if we are talking about household matters? About those that "need", but do not want at all. What do children watch them? Perhaps you are planning, trying to safely fulfill duties, leaving time for leisure, do not whine about this? If so, then the child will be easier to deal with its sphere "necessary". If there is an option "Do not be like a mother", then – I have a hurry to disappoint you – it does not work. There is no this button at all, and you do not need to try to put it on it.

And the second main option – go through Interest. Find your motivation to the "alien" goal, if as a result of finding something profitable (in a broad sense) for yourself. Like the world around me, but do not like our and mathematics? And what is in the world around the world and from mathematics? I want to be the creator of computer games, because, besides them, little interests? This requires knowledge of various areas.

4. Why motivation does not develop in any way, although I do everything for this?

You do everything exactly? You conducted preventive work in terms of personal example? I was convinced that he is about what is needed, and not the opposite? Sometimes adults are in a hurry: "I have already cleaned my clothes to the closet for a whole week (a personal example), and he still!"

Personal example is not an emergency. He must germinate, become natural. It may be possible to see his action in a few years. But this means is the most durable of all.

Sometimes the cause of demotivation or unstable motivation becomes confusion. That adult uses pseudo-ended motivation ("You need it"), sometimes – external ("There will be no triples – we will go to the attractions"). Then scares ("you will be a two-way"), then supports. Of course, such a leap is justified at the stage when you are trying to fasten a possible motivation. But in general it is not too useful.

Another of the demotivatory moments is Using external motivation (especially negative, built on deprivation of important) Instead of internal positive. She is there, you can find if you look good.

Well, the most interesting plot is when such a child behavior is actually favorably family system. For example, if he himself will do lessons, the grandmother will feel a little less necessary, and it is unpleasant.

5. Can a psychologist help develop motivation?

In principle, maybe. I come to it like this: I learn about the interests of the child, listening to what he talks about the difficulties and reluctance. We are talking about what he wants, what dreams of and what he wants. Then we try to find the components of the fact that "I want" from "I want". Or as "necessary" can help to come to what "want".

In principle, this parent can be completely free in the kitchen in the evening. With children in souls now speak very little. Rarely find out what they actually think. Try to think for them. They do not want to resist that the process is healthy.

And certainly you can not expect that you can make a child in the office and say: "Here is a person. Return it to me with motivation, I pay money, and you are a psychologist. And do not touch me, I’m not going to change anything ". In these cases, when the parent expects that the child will make up the upgrade and return the convenient and combed, disappointment comes. So it does not happen. Why? because personal example. because Resistance to change. Because parenthood is also about flexibility and own changes.

The ability of the motivational process – an integral part of the work of a healthy psyche. Your child knows how to motivate himself and retain motivation, overcoming obstacles. Only usually he does it in areas where he is dominated by "I want" and his own "necessary".

An adult can help the child in finding motivation in those zones that are important to the child, but it is not possible to understand the importance (health, social skills, training). For this, the most important way is a personal example. It is not necessary to be perfect and serve the correct example. But then do not demand from the child.

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