Why do men do not support us when we are really bad
Since childhood, the boys assimilate the idea that girls are hysterical and whinkers. Growing, they continue to relate to the manifestations of female emotionality skeptical and, even when a woman really needs help, consider her complaints and requests of Blazh and manifestation of weakness. Journalist Daniella Campoamor talks about gender stereotypes.
I have long noticed a bump on the palm of my left hand, but did not tell about this close. She was small but painful. I worked as a secretary, so I constantly had to type text on the computer. Every time I moved my fingers, hand penetrated acute pain. I tried all the painners that could be bought without a recipe. The pain did not poke, and the bump, to my horror, increased. In the end I decided to tell my young man. I expected sympathy, care and participation. However, in response, I only heard: "Go to the doctor".
Doctors diagnosed – cyst to remove. I asked a partner to wait in the hospital until the procedure. He refused – urgent work at work. I did not take offense, because I myself know what to build a career. We agreed that he would take me to the hospital, and his girlfriend would take after the procedure.
I vaguely remember how we met at home. He asked a girlfriend from the threshold, how was the operation. She replied – with complications. Doctors promised to spend her for half an hour under local anesthesia. However, I introduced a general anesthesia and operated on more than three hours. Surgeon really did not explain anything. We understood only one thing – after the procedure I will torment pain. I was sent home for the weekend, on Monday you need to return to the consultation.
Girlfriend left, and I stayed on the care of a loving partner. At least I hoped for it. I represented how he cooks soup, hugs me, shows his love – after all, it is such things to be treated. When he was unhealthy, I always took care of him. Now the roles changed, and I counted on reciprocal care.
He refused to bring me soup, water or pills, because "it’s just a hand". He said: "You didn’t have an operation on my feet. You can great walk ". He left me one for several hours and went to play poker with friends. He thought I exaggerate: "It is unlikely that it hurts. You are just an egoist that requires attention. Do not be a kid ".
In those weekends I cried a lot. I had pills from physical pain, but not from soulful. I could not throw it out of my head – he did not care about my pain. You might think that I chose a terrible partner, but it is not. His appeal cannot be justified with me, but you can explain. The basis of its behavior of the installation, which depreciate women, their health and suffering. For your partner, I became the embodiment of the collective weakness of the whole female kind. Weak half of humanity, which you constantly need to take care. Burden.
On Monday he took me to the reception to the surgeon. We spent the road in silence and in the reception site. The doctor asked me about well-being, and I burst into the answer. Each tears personified my fatigue, anger, sadness, hatred, pain and disappointment. I wanted to scream, but could only cry. At that moment I realized that men mistakenly take tears for weakness. I knew that the partner looks at me with disgust. He again made sure that I am only a tantrum, a little weak girl who is looking for sympathy.
The doctor took my hand and said that this is a normal reaction. I did not even suspect that actually happened to me.