Why do men like removal

Why do men like removal

Relationships are impossible without sincerity, mutual support, care and interest in the partner. But in life, not everything is so definitely, sometimes we meet psychotypes, refuting the theory of proximity and openness. Psychologist Sofia Yenikeeva tells how new acquaintances can develop and how to build trust relationships.

– Here you are psychologists learn to notice your feelings, be sincere, not be afraid of vulnerability. But for men you don’t need anything.

– Why do you think so?

– I do not think, but I know. Dieteked with a friend. Clever, beauty, student – distinguished man and loved his boyfriend very much. She was already in his family as a native, all holidays were noted together. And what as a result? He threw it in one day, I blocked everywhere and did not even explain the reason.

– Maybe something happened?

– No, she called his mother and asked. He simply found another – rich and narcissive bitch, with a million subscribers in Instagram. She doesn’t even love him, lies up to him. And he runs around it and catches every word. Such is the story.

– We do not know the details of their relationship, so I would not have become judged according to your girlfriend. She is offended, she has his own vision.

– Admissible. But after all, I had this one time. Meets, calls, writes, beautifully cares. Only pay attention to it, you will show care in response, so he begins to disappear. Yesterday bought out messages, and today is constantly busy. Then generally ceases to answer. You start to gather, he is here like here. What kind of catch-ups are such?

After all, it is true that such both men and women. Couple lives, everyone says behind them: "What a man got black to her. And handsome, and earns, and there are no others on women, and she is not all. He is her car on the anniversary of the wedding, and she is his cologne. What he found in her?»You can also remember the classics. Simonov wrote gray: "Wait for me, and I will return," and she did not wait at all. But when I stopped being a star, so he immediately threw it. Perhaps men need only bitch?

Psychotypes

Not everyone strive for proximity, openness and mental integrity, although they can speak and believe in the opposite. Multiple, people mostly exacerbate neurosis, increasing mental protection in response to pain, betrayal and disappointment. After all, for your life, many happened to burn and cry bitterly. I will list some of the psychotypes and their protection incompatible with the proximity.

1. Narcissical

Who is so beautiful, on an expensive car, in brand clothes invites you to a pathetic restaurant and tells the whole evening about your achievements? He is the most, Narcissus. The representative of this psychotip is first finding a false partner, and then trying to reach him. This phase is called "Idealization".

If, over time, the selected woman remains far away and impregnable, like Naina from Ruslan and Lyudmila, then the man over the years unrequited love becomes richer and more attractive, trying to jump to the stars. If the woman suddenly pulls out and begins to move towards, he immediately turns on the opposite phase called "Depreciation". And all that was previously beautiful in it, gradually becomes terrible.

There is a simple explanation. Narcissus unconsciously depreciates himself, and not you, he does not believe that someone can love him worthy. Accordingly, if you fell in love, then something is clearly not so.

2. Shizoid

Remember the story of a little prince about the fox? There are words about this man. "We must be patient," replied fox. – At first, Sit Won there, gone, on the grass. Like this. I will look at you to look at you, and you are silent. But every day sit down a little closer … "

Such a man is smart, deep and as if imaging. He will not run for anyone, the maximum will sometimes appear and will demonstrate very thin signs of attention. Why thin? Because the external coldness is hidden exceptional sensitivity and vulnerability, thanks to which it easily catches your needs.

You start thinking that a man is shy, afraid to make a decisive step, so you can simulate the events. As soon as you start vigorously to get closer, the former fan will quickly disappear for a long time or forever. He needs a lot of personal space, its main protection against excessive exposure is a detachment, that is, a distance, care for loneliness and the inner world of fantasies. As you understand, it’s not about your allegedly intrusiveness and not femininity, but in its inability to be long with someone at close distance and in dense emotional contact.

Why do men like removal

3. Masochistic

Good, responsible and often suffering a person who always takes on the very vigorous and ungrateful work. Starting to show no attention signs, you will soon notice the behavior provoking you to aggression. The fan will begin to forget promises, sabotage, late. All this will continue and even aggravate until you begin to threaten the break, quarrel and other punishments.

Unconscious dynamics here is such. He has a conviction in his head, which is necessary to try a lot and long, to endure pain and humiliation in order to prevent the onset of something more painful. He seems to punish himself, avoiding punishment from the outside. Accordingly, when you begin to warm yourself and carefully lead, he is trying to restore the familiar picture of the world. Again, the point is not that you want a lot, pull a lot and excessively quit, but in the fact that we just show not enough hardness and sadism. And how to be? Make a check list and test all?

You can spend many years and learn to a psychologist to easily distinguish between psychological. It’s a joke. It all depends on what you need.

You want to win. Understand what type he belongs to how it is more correct to behave in love and lying in his feet. I will not discharge you, but on this path you are unlikely waiting for happiness. Parting, personal growth, tragedy – it will be a lot, and there is no happiness. First, it is hard to pretend all the time. Secondly, the acting profession requires talent and skill. Thirdly, an understanding of what is not like you, but a mask, reduces self-esteem and disturb. The most important thing is that as a result, the beloved will go to a real bitch, which is not necessary to pretend. Just because the masterpiece is always valued more expensive than fake.

You like to be a bitch. You understood that being cold and rejecting you comfortably and habitual, men are for this and love. You no longer want to portray a good girl. Fine, relax and do not depict anyone. You will have a lot of adorable things from those listed above. Why is that? You immediately remind my mother, who at one time and launched all their psychodynamics.

You want close and trustworthy relationships. In this case, it is necessary to open, give feedback to the actions of the partner, denote expectations from relationships, observe and draw conclusions. If you are no longer the first and not even for the third time with the same man, the situation is painful for you, it’s time to take decisive measures. For example, promised to call – disappeared, today was explained in love, and tomorrow does not notice. You still painfully hurt you, you talk about this partner, it regrets, but soon everything repeats. Remember the phrase: "On the intention of the judgment by the result". Most likely, with this man sincere and reliable relationship you will not succeed. If you want these, then look for another.

How to build trust?

1. Find a personal behavior scenario

If you are afraid of finding representatives of a certain type, then you have scenario behavior. Most likely you are looking for a parent’s love, which in childhood lacked. Think about whether you have ever been mutually in love with? If not, then perhaps some of your game is to choose knowingly unsuitable men.

Why do men like removal

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