Why do teenagers die die

Why do teenagers die die?

The wave of suicide children in this winter shook the whole society. Could adults keep them from the fatal step? Dangerous reflections.

And not only teenagers, but also. 10-year-old girl hanged himself due to the fact that the girlfriend refused to communicate with her. Two 14-year-old schoolgirls, holding hands, jumped off the roof, afraid of punishment for absenteeism. Their peer jumped out of the window after a quarrel with his father, who was told at school, that the boy is suspected of small thefts.

Russia came out in the first place in Europe in terms of suicide among adolescents (in 2010, 1576 cases of suicide were officially registered and twice as much – suicide attempts) *. However, these figures can be understated: children’s psychiatrists suggest that many cases of drug overdose, traffic accidents, falling from height – more or less conscious suicide attempts.

* According to the data of the Commissioner under the President of the our Federation on the Rights of the Child Pavle Astakhova, RFDeti.Ru

Mind with heart is not in Lada

Psychiatrist Elena Vrono, the author of the teenage book "Preventing suicide" (academic project, 2001), believes: the cause alone, in the disunity of our increasingly technological world. Communication in the family is replaced with a computer or TV, parents and teachers lack time for conversations with children. In school, too, many suffer from feeling of isolation and lack of friends. And the contrast between the "adult" self-sustaining, the style of life of adolescents and their mental immaturity. From early childhood, weighing the Internet, in 11-13 years old, they are focused in an adult world better than many parents: they lead blogs, create web pages, confidently enjoy gadgets, dress up to adult. At the same time, they remain emotionally teenagers – impulsive, disturbing, easily flowing into despair, who do not know how to calculate the consequences of their actions. Because of this imbalance, children are unarmed before too strong emotional experiences. Therefore, it is very important that in school conflicts parents occupy the side of the child, no matter how bad he behaved. He must know: Our intimacy and love will not disappear with him, whatever he did. You can take anything – except violence and rejection.

4 facts

Suicide does not happen without warning.

Up to 80% of adolescents, sewing on their lives, share their plans. But almost 80% of adults do not hear or do not want to hear it.

Suicide is not inherited.

But the family where suicide was already performed, it becomes for children a zone of increased risk.

Aggressive behavior turns into an auto-aggressive.

If, in the midst of a family scandal, the teenager threatens suicide, parents must immediately stop the quarrel, no matter how defiantly offensive his behavior.

Conversations with a teenager about suicide do not suggest him to end.

Why do teenagers die die

Progressing his alarms, teenager is freed from them. The main thing is that the subtext of these conversations did not become poetication, the heroization of death as an outstanding act of a strong personality.

Painful inner life

The attempt of suicide may be insignificant in an adult look, but a catastrophic event for a child, Elena Vrono explains. Self-assessment of the teenager changes instantly: a bad mark or a remark is sometimes equivalent to the statement "I am worse, I can not love me". Sharp shame, fear of punishment, school troubles are able to push the child to the extreme step. The very fact that our children think about death, we are unpleasant, it reminds of our parental helplessness and insolvency. It is believed that the child by definition is happy. But in fact he lives a difficult life. He is unbearable to others, but also for himself too. His psyche is sometimes more expelled than an adult psyche. For example, when it is too big responsibility, undermining his self-esteem. Or he is forced to replace the parents of a deceased brother or sister, or their attention is captured by another child, sick or just younger. Or maybe adults are indifferent and give too much freedom where the framework needs.

Fuzzy image of death

According to Freudo theory, no one can truly comprehend its own end *. What to talk about children and teenagers: For most of them, death has the beginning and the end – as a long disease or a long absence, Elena Vrono explains. They are confident that after death, life will continue – without the troubles that were "on this shore". Virtual games where death means nothing, make care of life even more abstract. Teenagers often believe that you can die "not to the end", "if you correctly calculate". They do not intend to die – they just want to get out of the unbearable situation. The idea of ​​the value of human life is not formed, so that their own life is for them – a small price for the revenge of the offender, for the opportunity to insisted on his … Killing himself, a person actually aims in his loved ones who, as he thinks, prevent him from living says Sigmund Freud. Since it is impossible to send aggression on others; it turns out to be aimed at itself. A young man begins to treat himself as a hated "im", "other" and eventually seeks to self-dispersion. A sense of value of life grows from emotional attachments in the family. Starting to rummate with your loved ones, the teenager learns to go on both and human life in principle.

* Article "Sadness and Melancholy" in the collection: Sigmund Freud "Interest in Psychoanalyz" (Popourri, 2009).

Alarm symptoms

They are difficult to notice, because depressed in adolescents (and this is one of the main factors of suicide) proceeds disguised, they are difficult to diagnose. In addition, the one who is going to commit suicide does not necessarily lie on the sofa with sad species. Perhaps they own well-affirming feelings, and the attempt of suicide is a momentum, impulsive solution. In any case, it is necessary to take carefully and seriously to the young man who is unusually behaved, loses interest in all hobbies, again and again speaks of death. Repeating bruises or wounds may be signs of unsuccessful suicide attempts. In all these situations it is important to take steps towards. Ask questions, share your experiences. Sometimes it is enough to talk to the child about what causes pain to pay off suicidal spirits.

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