Why do teenagers do not turn to parents in a difficult situation. Psychologist answers
In adolescence, children are very vulnerable, so many problems are collapsed on them. But why they choose not to go to parents for help, especially in difficult situations, or delicate matters that they do not know how to solve?
There may be many such reasons, but among the mains, the following can be distinguished:
- "I will scream and swear"
- "I will not believe"
- "I do not want to upset your parents, I feel sorry for me"
- "I will tell me that myself (a) is to blame (a)"
- "I will ban walking, punish, deprive gadgets"
- "We have never discussed these topics with parents, I shame to talk to them about it"
Of course, you can also add a desire to be independent and solve your questions yourself. But it is able to really not have a person who does not have any life experience without good emotional and information support. I think not always.
At the same time, many teenagers openly say that parents are the latest people to whom they will go if they have questions or problems related, for example:
1) with menstruation. With many girls Mom, even hygiene issues do not discuss what we can talk about relationships with the opposite sex, that there are bad and good touch, and how to behave in situations when there is a sequal pressure from the opposite sex;
2) night ejaculations in boys (which, by the way, may arise already in 10-11 years!) Imagine that you can feel a child, waking up in the morning in wet underwear? For a not-exclusive boy, it can become a shock, and he is likely not to go to her mother, and even more so to the father asking "what happened to me tonight, I, that, described?";
3) infections that are transmitted by sexual, protection, pregnancy, and T.D.
It seems to me that we, adults, is very useful to periodically remember themselves at this age to pretensely realize the fears of adolescents, their desires, feelings and needs. Of course, one awareness is little, more important from little age to start building supporting, open and trusting relationships with a child, but it’s better late than ever.
P.S. Check like, if you also think that in adolescence, children really need our support and support, despite their external independence and sharpness. And write in the comments with what problems you encounter your teen child or what to you lacked from parents when you yourself were a teenager.
© Konstantin Nikulin
(psychologist-sexologist, self-assessment correction specialist)