Why do we believe that they are intended to each other?
"We are created for each other", "Marriages are performed in heaven". "This illusion is necessary, it gives relations significance and depth," said Family psychotherapist Robert Neuburger.
Robert Neuburger (Robert Neuburger), Psychoanalyst, Clinical Psychologist, Vice President of the French Society of Family Psychotherapy.
Psychologies: It all starts with the myth that the meeting is not accidental, and is destined for fate?
Robert Neuburger: Yes. A person is surprisingly romantic – he can easily create what I call "Myth about the destination". We are all looking for symbolic coincidences proving that our meeting was predetermined. PostFacktum we see in this hand of fate … This is the necessary fiction that gives the deep meaning of the existence of a pair. Here we are in power of magical thinking, in the field of irrational and poetic. We believe in this myth who do not realize as a myth, otherwise we would stop to believe in it!
You can give examples?
R. N.: "Surprisingly – we all walked in one fleet and did not know each other!"Or:" We both love jazz, films about James Bond and Military Memoirs ". The most unusual thing I heard: "We realized that they were created for each other when it turned out that there was nothing in common between us.". Symbolic meaning can be seen even in this ..
But there is generally no magic.
R. N.: That’s it, the myth often arises from small details. The sample for which such a myth is built is the story of Tristan and Isolde, who drank a drink of love, designed not to them. In our life, this prototype can be embodied, for example, so: "Strange, I should not have come that evening and nevertheless came. Something pushed me. I knew that we would meet, it’s fate ". If one of the two came five minutes earlier or later, they would never meet. In fact, they would find themselves other partners, they just don’t know about it!