Why do we need memories

Why do we need memories

The past never pops up in our memory by chance. French psychotherapist Patrick Estrada proposes learn how to benefit from his own memories. "Good memories are our personal stock of happiness," he convinces.

He calls himself a "interpreter of memories": in the collection of Patrick Estrad, there are several thousand of them, and he studies them for more than twenty years. Memories – the cast of our personality, the proof that our existence is unique, he says. These are our points of support in the past.

They carry the imprint of our individuality, reveal what is speciable for us: how do we live, what are afraid of what our relationship with others. They reflect our lifestyle and talents. In the book "Memories, which we manage" Patrick Estrada sets out his theory of memories.

They affect our fate

"We are so accustomed to pepper in the distance that we forget that there is very close. Memories seem to be natural and ordinary. Work as a psychotherapist helped me look at it carefully, and I came to the conclusion that they are invaluable treasures that we use little.

Even among specialists in memory problems are a bit of those who study the memories. Maybe because we do not realize their meaning and do not give yourself a report in what power they possess. Memories – the foundation, the soil we go throughout life. They affect our choice and on fate and in some sense they control us.

One of my customers lived with a feeling that lost life guidelines. It turned out that children’s memories of numerous movies were preserved in his memory. It was they who helped me find the image of his experiences: he stopped understanding where it was ..

But memories can also interfere with personal development – it happened to another client: as a child, the father constantly cheered him over him, the memory of this helped determine why, becoming an adult, the Son could not bring to the end to the end.

They are the barometer of our emotions

"We remember this or that event is not because we think about the past, but because now we are experiencing the same emotions. Memories – a barometer of an internal psychological state. Sad mood will cause sad memories, the feeling of anxiety will make remember the experienced anxiety.

One of the clients has repeatedly said that it is not capable of making a choice. Accidentally she remembered how from year to year mom made her ride in the "Hate" summer camp. Everyone will have any life leitmotifs like: "No one understands me" or "I never do what I want," and the reason for each of them hides in memories.

They are imprinted in memory due to the power of those who accompany this event of emotions, but much depends on whether we managed to give it the meaning. All that we experience, from a fleeting impression to strong grief, is recorded on the "hard drive" of our memory, as for the long-playing plate.

One woman told how a schoolgirl in the lesson felt a huge joy, seeing his mother in the window (the girl was sure that his mother was in the departure). The power of this emotion was forever imprinted in her memory. ".

They are always ready to pop up in memory

"Those who claim that they have no memories, mistaken: forgotten not lost, it is stored in the depths of the brain. Memories of something like fish: Some float close to the surface, and they are perfectly visible, and others are held at depth. We do not see them, but it does not mean that they are not: they are ready to emerge and sooner or later be sure to rise to the surface.

The unconscious has a clearly operating system that raises only those memories in which we need exactly today to develop, and only those with which we can cope, having met face to face.

I watch it every day during therapy. So, one client survived incest, but does not remember anything about it. Caution is needed here: do not hack the door leading to memories. If they do not open to us, it means that we are not ready for them. ".

They come to free us

"As wonderful when new memories arise in mind, as if letters, too long have lain in the mail waiting for the addressee. This is a sign that today we are ripe to perceive them.

Why do we need memories

So it was with a client who remembered the father only bad. At that moment, when he met his love, light memories of father began to emerge in his memory. I have repeatedly seen how the clients had tears of eyes, when new memories began to appear in their memory. It was like the sunrise when the fog is scattered and a new landscape opens in front of you. This is a real acquisition of oneself.

Bad memories It is important to "turn to words" and somewhere "hide". Sometimes I ask customers to record them on paper, put in the envelope and remove. If someone experienced a painful event and he did not tell anyone about him, I would like this person to get rid of bad memories.

But good memories need to be holly and cherished. They fill out our whole being, nourish us, excitely, sometimes they do not even give asleep, and then "settle on the bottom". These are the tanks in which our happiness is stored ".

They change our attitude to the past

"The memory never comes simply, without any purpose. It is like an unfinished story. In the book, I tell about the memories of my childhood, which came to me when I wrote her.

I loved to play with tin soldiers and remember that this game gave the feeling of power and victory, but I paid for him a sense of loneliness. This memory has already spoken about the current sense of power and victory that I experienced when I wrote. At the same time, it forced me to realize my loneliness. But this time I decided to do otherwise than in the past: I began to pay more attention to relationships with friends and acquaintances, tried to strengthen them.

Memories help better understand the present, return our own past and continue our story, they enrich and satisfy our identity. Go to search for memories – how to arrange general cleaning in the house. Wipe the dust, get rid of unnecessary – and sometimes suddenly stumble on a long-lost thing. In a newly acquired memoirs hide hidden energy. You only need to learn to take them and endow meaning. ".

How to contact them?

Cultivate good. Good memories are a "garden of our memory," explains Patrick Estrada. And since it is so, "you need to keep them alive, just like the flowers need to water. So, for example, you can arrange memoirs with friends or resume relationships with school and institute friends. And do not regret the time and view the photo albums. ".

Give bad. Do not try to get rid of even the most unpleasant, painful, heavy or disturbing memories. Do not hone them and do not try to forget: it will mean that you deny, cross part of yourself. Try to express them. and postpone. Write them on a piece of paper and ask someone from close to take them "for storage".

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