Why are men lose interest: 5 confessions
He became cold, less often writes and does not call. When meeting in his eyes there is no old joy. Sex between you almost disappeared. Why it could happen? Men honestly talk about possible causes, and the psychologist Marina Mokol gives expert comments.
She starts to "crush"
"I just lost my head from her, and at the very beginning we spent all my free time together," says Sergey. – However, as you get closer, I wanted to see my friends, resume sports classes that threw. Just be alone.
I did not expect it to cause such resistance. She began to control me. Check if I really really in the gym and with whom I have a meeting. I found myself in the position of the runaway and constantly justifying: where was and why we will not see you today. I do not understand why she does not have their own business and interests. It kills our communication ".
"Even in close relations there is a risk of becoming a guest who lost a sense of measure and does not want to leave, – Psychologist Marina Moloy. – such an annoying guest can be one of the partners.
As if we love each other, everyone needs a personal freedom space, and the need for it may not coincide. It is an extremely delicate question, it is impossible to solve ultimatically. If you are worried that a loved one has a big man than you, the need to spend time alone with you, this does not mean that you stopped him roads.
Attempts to impose their desire to constantly be together cause only resistance and threaten the crash relationship. A frank conversation is needed, in which both are ready to hear each other, honestly explain their motives and make compromises ".
Lack of "chemistry"
"Our relationship did not start with some incredible passion, – admitted Artem. – I have already burned and tired of the meat grinder of the feelings in which I got. I was just calm and good for me, but gradually orderly turned into boredom.
I had to confess her that we do not fit each other. It was unexpected for her and hurt, but I decided that for us both better finish this story. ".
"If the previous strong love brought suffering, the next time a person can choose an emotionally more vulnerable partner. And himself speaks from the position of "strong", decisive, when to start and stop relations, – explains Marina Moloy. – However, this strategy does not always work.
Human relations are not static. Control over the situation, its predictability, bringing at the beginning, turn on the feeling of infallibility of communication and disappointment ". If you feel that we value the relationship more partner, but for some reasons agree with this imbalance, it is worth being prepared for your addiction that shined him, with time can repel.
Always bad mood
"I got acquainted at a party from friends, she seemed to me the most beautiful girl," Remembers Oleg. – I was in love and ready for her for everything. However, her constantly bad mood became the background of our life.
Everything that happened around was criticized. She cried and complained about the underestimation of her colleagues, then on envious girlfriends. I’m tired of saving it and entertain. We broke up".
Attempts to wake in a woman’s cheerfulness can turn into a symbolic path of its conquest and first like. However, with time, if the partner is not ready to constantly be responsible for the emotional well-being of another person, the imbalance in relations becomes obvious to him.
"Eternal Sacrifice" begins to demand more and more attention and to make another guilty for the fact that he is not embedded in its salvation. Permanent bad mood turns into a passive aggression form.
Interest in the other
"We have been together for several years, and she is waiting for us to get married, we will have a child, – says Yuri. – Probably, in the depths of the soul, I’m not ready for this, although I did not want to part. A couple of months ago at work I got acquainted with the girl and now I can not throw it out of my head.
There is nothing between us, except for flirting, but I think about it constantly. Because of this, I finally disappeared interest in building a family life, and sexually I began to cool to my girlfriend. She feels it, and the tension increases between us ".
Interest in another person does not arise in itself – it is usually always a manifestation of that discharge that is already in a pair. In our unconscious, the space appears in order to let another.
"In this case, it may be resistance to the creation of a family – a serious step to which a man does not feel ready," the expert believes. – a new passion, on the one hand, depreciates the inevitable blow from a gap with a regular partner, on the other, it turns out to be justifying the circumstance ".
She turned into mommy
"I’m tired of her permanent guardianship," says Maxim. – We have a son, and the wife believes – she has two children who are important to follow. Decisions where we will relax what to do on weekends takes only she. Trying to arrange me for another job. In something, it is convenient for me, but I can not make love with a woman who has become almost mother for me ".
In harmonious relationships, partners occurs a natural change of roles. On a par with an erotic man, a man in certain moments of life is also important to warm and concern that are associated with the mother part of the person.
"The problem arises when we are frozen in the same role, in this case – the mother – says the psychologist. – Live with mom comfortable, but the relationship with it is taboo. Nothing amazing that an excess of female guardianship kills in a man turned into a symbolic child, any sexual desires ".